Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Genesis 1:1 : "In the beginning..."

What if we came hardwired with the answers to all of the questions?

This isn't my first blog. I actually started that blog almost two years ago on a different site. I kept up with it well for a few months before life pulled me away. I was reminded of it today and went back to read each entry. It was like a was reading someone elses work. A child's. I wrote those entries before my visit to France, I began my Religion courses, a whirlwind of a relationship that went up in flames, becoming a brother-in-law, becoming an uncle, my life-changing internship, and I made plans to spend a year in Northern Ireland. Sufice it to say, I am able to humbly see an ample amount of growth has occured.

I was annoyed at my play-by-play entries that chronicled each day of my life, my childish ramblings, and my lack of depth. The entries were un-reflective and only grasped the surface of my life. A constant friend and avid journaler was reading along with me and replied to my frustration, "Ok this is a lot like journaling (ok it practically is journaling) and rule number one is that you can't judge your art. Because it's your life." Her response really got me. I shouldn't judge any growth I've experienced.

Growth is good. I feel as human beings we should strive to better ourselves and deepen our understang of the world around us... constantly! I find myself seeking out experiences that I believe will boost this growth. I won't go as far as to say, "Oh, I don't regret anything because it's made me who I am!" This can be true for some, but I feel there are some experiences that tear people down. Of course, a lot of that is how you respond to experiences. The point is: If we don't try learn something from our past experiences, they are near worthless. So, while it can be frustrating, annoying, and even dissapointing to look back on myself at points in my life, it's neccesary to appreciate where I am, to enjoy this moment, to better understand the present me.

That's why I've started this blog. To poke at my skin and say, "Hey, what's under there? Come on, you've got things to say!" To ask some hard questions. So the future me can look back and say, "Oh, I remember that guy... and while he's got a lot to learn, there are a few things he can still teach me. If all of the answers and lessons were laid out for us, life's wonderful, awkward, painful, beautiful experiences wouldn't be nearly as rewarding.

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