1/12 of a Year

Today marks a month until I leave Houston for Louisville to begin YAV orientation. August 26 will be an important day because it really will be goodbye to my family; I plan on leaving my cell phone at home so that I won't be distracted at orientation as we were told that it's at orientation that our YAV year really begins. I feel like this last month will be pretty critical to my preparation as a YAV. I need to finish the reading list, buy the things I still need, pack!, and prepare metally and emotionally for saying goodbye and uprooting myself.

Chasity, a long time friend of mine, emailed me recently and said, "So, tell me: What're you getting excited about and what are you getting nervous about?" So, I thought it would be fitting to include my response on my blog:

Great questions! Well, hmmmm, I'm excited about moving away from anyone I know (not totally true as I've already become close to one of the other volunteers, but still, I didn't know them before). That was scary when I went to Schreiner, but it worked out great in the end. I love building new relationships and it's simply awesome for that to be my 'job.' I'm excited about focusing on my relationship with God more than I have recently. One of my goals is to read the Bible all the way through (maybe not in order) before I come back. I feel like we all should anyway, but I think it would give me an interesting perspective to read it while in a foreign country, especially one where people are struggling at a different level than we are. I'm excited about being exposed to social justice issues that I already care about, but will now have faces to put with the issues. I also think this will be really hard, but good for growth and such. I'm honestly most excited about learning the things that I'm not anticipating because I just don't know. I love the mystery. Oh, and having tea every afternoon.

I'm scared about not being good enough at what is asked of me. I'm scared that I won't be able to handle some things. That something that everyone else is fine with (think scary situations) may be too much for me. I doubt this will really happen, because I'm going into it with a pretty adventurous attitude and a real desire to learn and experience new things. But, really, I'm not that scared. I think I should almost be more nervous. I was more nervous about the idea of going to Guatemala than I am actually knowing I'm going to India, so I think that's a good thing. Maybe I will become more nervous as I get on the plane and such, but it's difficult to feel nervous about something that feels so right.